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At times, Jay Spring is convinced he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. Living with narcissistic personality disorder, his periods of extreme self-importance often turn “detached from reality”, he explains. You’re riding high and you think, ‘The world will recognize that I surpass everyone else … I’ll do great things for the world’.”

In his case, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are usually succeeded by a “emotional downturn”, a period when he feels sensitive and embarrassed about his conduct, rendering him especially susceptible to criticism from external sources. He first suspected he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms online – and subsequently confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he doubts he would have taken the label without having previously arrived at that understanding personally. Should you attempt to inform somebody that they have NPD, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he says – most notably if they feel feelings of superiority. They operate in an altered state that they’ve built up. And that world is like, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Understanding Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Although people have been called narcissists for over 100 years, definitions vary what the term implies the label. It’s common to label everybody a narcissist,” states an expert in narcissism, noting the word is “applied too broadly” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he suggests many people keep it private, as there is significant negative perception associated with the disorder. An individual diagnosed will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a strategy of using people to seek admiration through actions such as pursuing power,” the expert says. Those with NPD may be “deeply egotistical”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Variations by Gender in Narcissism

While a significant majority of people diagnosed with the condition are males, findings indicates this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is more often presented in the less obvious variety, which is less commonly diagnosed. Male narcissism tends to be a bit more accepted, as with everything in society,” explains a 23-year-old who shares content on her dual diagnosis on social media. Frequently, the two disorders appear together.

Individual Challenges

“I really struggle with handling criticism and being turned down,” she says, “because if I hear that the issue lies with me, I either go into defence mode or I withdraw entirely.” Despite having this behavior – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been attempting to address it and accept input from her close relationships, as she doesn’t want to slip into the harmful behaviour of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners during adolescence,” she reveals. Through dialectical behavioural therapy, she has been able to manage her condition better, and she notes she and her significant other “have a dynamic where we’ve agreed, ‘Should I make a harmful comment, when I use toxic language, call it out {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

Her upbringing primarily in the care of her father and notes she didn’t have supportive figures in her youth. “I’ve been learning over the years the difference between and is not appropriate to say when arguing because I never had that in my formative years,” she says. Every insult was fair game when my relatives were belittling me during my childhood.”

Origins of NPD

These mental health issues tend to be connected with early life adversity. Heredity is a factor,” explains a consultant psychiatrist. But, when someone shows signs of narcissism, it is often “linked to that person’s unique upbringing”. Those traits were “a coping mechanism in some ways to survive at a very early age”, he continues, when they may have been neglected, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those identical strategies as adults”.

In common with many of the those diagnosed, John (a pseudonym) thinks his parents “might exhibit similar traits. The adult explains when he was a child, “their needs came first and their work and their social life. So it was like, keep your distance.” When their focus was on him, it came in the form of “significant demands to achieve good grades and professional advancement, he says, which made him feel that if he didn’t fulfill their expectations, he wasn’t “acceptable.

As he grew older, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He believed he wasn’t loving someone, until he met his current partner of three years, who is diagnosed with BPD, so, similar to his experience, has difficulty with mood stability. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he says – it was actually she who initially thought he might have NPD.

Accessing Support

Subsequent to a consultation to his doctor, an assessment was arranged to a mental health professional for an assessment and was given the NPD label. He has been put forward for psychological counseling through national services (a long period of therapy is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the treatment delay for an extended period: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a handful of people about his condition, because “negative perceptions are widespread that every person with NPD is harmful”, but, privately, he has accepted it. This understanding allows me to comprehend my actions, which is positive,” he comments. Each individual have acknowledged their condition and are looking for support for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is possibly not the norm of all people with the disorder. But the growth of individuals sharing their stories and the expansion of virtual networks indicate that {more narcissists|a growing number